Here we go....

...I'm not so sure I want to be doing this, but I'm going to anyways. I'm also not so sure I want to be starting to do this now, but I'm going to anyways. As of now, we are trying to add one more to our family. After years of praying and research and meeting new doctors, we have decided to "try" to have another baby of our own. For most people that decision wouldn't be a big deal. But for us, it has been a very big deal. Most people know our situation. My baby's come early. The second(30 weeker) came even earlier than the first(32 weeker), and according to "statistics" the 3rd one could come even earlier. Therefore, this has been a very hard decision. I'm not sure why I'm choosing to blog about it. A part of me wants to put our story out there in case there are other people in our same shoes, trying to make a similar decision. I know we will be judged and that's ok. Everyone has their own opinions and that's ok. One reason why I didn't want to write about all of this publicly was the fear of being judged. But here I am, and I'm going to be very real and honest. I probably won't have much to write about in the next couple of months. I think the real journey will begin when and if I actually get pregnant. I will probably end up on bedrest and will have PLENTY of time to update. But for now, this is where we are at in life. We are SO thankful and blessed for the 2 beautiful and healthy girls that we already have, but we feel in our hearts that there is room to love more. We don't feel complete. We pray EVERY day about this situation and wait patiently to see God's plan for our family, no matter what it may be....